September 09, 2007

What kind of fucked-up college experience did Cary Tennis have?

I think he's usually a terrible to simply bad advice columnist. But this `advice' to a socially awkward college freshman looking for some help on meeting people goes beyond the realms of the terrible and into the terrifying:

Take a good, long look around you. You've all been sent here for different reasons, but one thing is clear: Some of these people will stop at nothing to get what they want. Consider the desperate ploys and devious schemes they hatched to get here.[...]

As to the friendship angle, you may find that one or two of you enjoy socializing together. Fine. But don't overdo it. Don't start thinking you are friends. Remember, these are desperate people. The things they've done to end up there, you don't even want to think about. Don't believe for an instant that they won't sell you out. It's every student for himself. They don't call it an elite four-year university for nothing. Everything you've heard about life there is true. Don't forget it.


Cupcake said...


Reminds me of my first day orientation. We had such gems as, "Look to your right and your left. One of you will not be here next year," and, "Look to your right and your left, you will sleep with one of these people in the next three years." My personal favorite, though, was, "Do what you must to get through and get through well and have no doubt that everyone else is doing the same. These people are not now, nor will they in three years, be your friends."

Noumena said...

How does the one of the three that leaves correlate with the two of the three that sleep together?

Cupcake said...

You know... I don't believe they ever clarified that. I'll have to ask the dean.