October 05, 2004

Star Wars Apologists Gone Wild

The crew over at Mathew Yglesias are trying to make Star Wars make sense which, needless to say, is quite the undertaking.

Here are some of the problems:

1) Anakin looks like he's going to be somewhere around his late teens at the end of Episode 3, which is when he should become Darth Vader and he looks like he's around 60 at the end of Jedi when Luke takes off his helmet. Luke, on the other hand looks like he's in his late teens at the start of Episode 4 when we meet him, so it seems that there's a missing 20 years.

2) The Jedi seem pretty on top of things during the prequels (to the point where even junk dealers on a backward ass planet like Tatooine know how their powers work), but by the time Episode 4 comes around, people like Han Solo not only think of Jedis as something of a joke but also don't even believe in the concept of the Force.

I've got my own theories, but I'll give you all a chance to help save Star Wars!


Drew said...

Save Star Wars? That's easy!

1) Torture and kill George Lucas.
2) Burn the prequels.
3) Release the original theatrical version of Episdoes IV-VI on DVD in widescreen format.
4) Rejoice!

Pancake Wrangler said...

Well, here's how I see it. Ep I was useless, they should have started with Anakin in his teens. Then the second movie could have been more about his slow move to the dark side in his teens and twenties, and the third movie should be about his entire career as Darth Vader. Who knows how long he was that man. A month? Twenty years? Evidently long enough to father twins and have them grow into their late teens or early twenties.