July 09, 2005

Infantile masculinity

Via Panda Amanda, a post by one Robert Arjet on the culture of the 'doofus dad' or selfish, emotionally stunted masculinity:

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

Jeez, this one is painful just to read. It wouldn't be so bad if I couldn't imagine millions of guys, some of whom I know, saying "Hell, yeah!" to that one. It's such a sad rejection of the entire emotional life. Sympathy is a basic element of the human condition. I'm actually at a loss to put into words what is missing from a life without sympathy.

Crying is blackmail

Ah, my favorite. Boy-men generally hate to see women cry, especially if there's any chance that they might be legitimately at fault. If crying is blackmail (not "sometimes blackmail" or "often used as blackmail"), then anytime a guy like this is such an ass to a woman that she tears up, she is automatically in the wrong, he is automatically in the right, and nothing she says any longer has any validity. Nice bit of logic. Talk about blame-the-victim. I mean, this is abuser mentality. Do these guys, in their darker moments, think "bleeding is blackmail?"

What's sad is that I really recognize this sort of selfishness: with the exception of one uncle (who was gay), all of my male relatives have proven again and again to be incapable of genuinely respecting their wives or girlfriends. Or doing any real work around the house.

1 comment:

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