October 29, 2005

One Last Contest

Ok, this is the last major, and I stress major, source of Ra points that I'll be offering this month, so anyone wanting to take Grumlock down is going to need to kick ass at this one. The idea's been out there for a little while now, but here's the contest:

Take the word verification letters, treat them as a word, and write a definition for that word. There, easy! Everyone gets 10 Ra points for entering, and the winner will get an extra 25 for producing the best of the lot. I might throw out some extra points here or there, creating new categories to encompass standout entries. Have fun, but remember that this is an October contest, so all entries must be in before the month is over!

I'll post the current standings after the flip if you want to know where you are.

Grumlock 120
Dan Brottman 110
Joy 80
Jamie 75
Jay 70
Sarah 70
Meghan 30
Jenna 30
Andy 25
Ok.nowwhat 10

One last note, I said this would be the last major source of points, and I meant it. There are a few people here that could greatly close the gap on the lead with a win in the contest and then take the lead with other points-getting measures. Remember that participation is almost always the best/most consistent way to get points.

"It won't be long yet, till you're alone / When your lover, he hasn't come home"


Meghanidly said...

Journey, "Lovin' Touchin' Squeezin'"

Jenna said...

I am only commenting to get a "word".

Grumlock the Destroyer said...

avwdok - A long speak with multiple blades coming out of the end at various lengths and angles.

I once used an avwdok to kill a particularly disagreeable "fan". You guys might not know this, but Grumlock has quite a far-ranging reputation. A few years back, I was trekking through the Barren Plaiins of Ashmere on my quest to uncover the Twinkly Jewel of Effervescence, and this eleven year old kid come up and says "Hey, aren't you Grumlock the Destroyer?" I figured he was a fan. Happens often enough. Probably wanted an autograph.

No, it turns out I had killed his father for spilling some mead on me. He was upset, out for vengeance, that sort of thing. And he had an avwdok. Well, I was heavily armored at the time, but an avwdok is a pretty fierce weapon, especially if you have the vibrator attachment, which this little peckerhead did. So, I needed to be cautious.

Fortunately, the kid was dumb. He just charged at me all screaming. I don't know how many of you know this, but Grumlock is surprisingly light on his feet. I neatly evaded his charge, twisted the avwdok out of his hands, turned it on him, and impaled him in the stomach. I laughed heatily in his face as he died, ever so slowly, on the end of his avwdok. I even waved his still-suffering near-corpse about in the air and whoops and hollered my delight. Then, when he had finally died, a left his rotting carcass in for the Barren Plains of Ashmere for the vultures to feed on, and then turned around to slaughter the rest of his miserable family.

Oh, good times, good times!

You know, I never did remember to go find the Twinkly Jewel of Effervescence and as a result, an ancient civilization of forest-dwelling little-people all died. Whoops!

MosBen, I don't lose points just because your stupid word identification thing happened to come up with a real word, do I? I realize I was supposed to make up a definition, but it seems stupid to invent a definition for "avwdok" when it already has a perfectly good one.

Grumlock the Misspeller said...

Oops! Grumlock is foolish indeed! That defintion should being "a long spear", not "speak". Grumlock's bad, dawg.

Anonymous said...

jsovbvu- ancient Norse word for sex drive
"The only thing Grumlock ever killed was a woman's jsovbvu."

Dan Brottman said...

Eucagcy - (n.) - The orally related historical epic detailing the creation and legacy of the ancient race of Were-Koala's inhabiting isle of Kviky, off the coast of Australia, as yet undiscovered by hu-mans.

All in all, it would take weeks to tell the whole of Eucagcy. The original telling is reputed to have been by the legendary were-koala skald Cocoa.

(OK, I need to get back to getting ready for this exam I'm taking in the next couple hours... bad dan)

jamie said...

nhplkdfz-(v.) making your way illegally into the United States of America.

Here's an example of a conversation that I heard while in Texas a few years ago:
Dirty Mexican: I did not nhplkdfz here.
Asshole Border Guard: I watched you nhplkdfz across the Rio Grande in the middle of the night.
DM: I was just out for a swim. If you want I'll nhplkdfz my way back.
ABG: That makes no sense. You can only nhplkdfz into this country, you ignorant asshole, and in either case, you will not nhplkdfz your way back over the river.
DM: You're the asshole who just told me I can't nhplkdfz my way back over the river when you also just said I can't nhplkdfz the river to Mexico in the first place. So I think I will nhplkdfz my way over the river again anyway.
ABG: You will not Nhplkdfz over the river.
DM: I will nhplkdfz the river
ABG: Will not
DM: Will too
ABG: Will not
DM: Nhplkdfz You!!!!
ABG: Nhplkdfz You, Asshole!!!!

So, that's what nhplkdfz means...and I won't even begin to tell you the story about the Cuban and the Coast Guard.

Joy said...

scnlkd - (v.) Skuh-null-k'd: Practice by which "Sanrotum" is created.

Example; Grumlock scnlkd so much during pride fest that he had to wear diapers for a week to prevent Santorum-stains.


Joy said...

Oops from me! The first "Santorum" is spelled incorrectly! Fiddeldy dee!

Grumlock the Scnlker said...


You have no proof... I deny these scurrilous accusations! Be careful or I will nhplkdfz over there and smite you with my avwdok. The story of my vengeance will be as great as the Eucagcy. That ought to fire up your jsovbvu.

Oh, and I realize the month is over, but I have one last word: pxtrn. It's a noun meaning "a fictional character created exclusively for internet message boards and blogs that is intended for humorous purposes only".

Ex. I'm sorry if I upset anyone, but it was just meant as a harmless pxtrn.

Joy said...

Why Grumlock...I never knew you cared!