August 27, 2004
Mike Wallace Fights The Man
Everyone should keep in mind before going any further: This is NOT news and really shouldn't be reported except for the fact that Americans are obsessed with celebrities, even really really old newsmen. Now, the article takes Mike Wallace's side (who say's there's no honor among theives...or reporters), but let's imagine the situation: You're a cop, fresh on the force. So fresh in fact that you don't quite have the authorization to arrest people. Granted, you're probably feeling pretty ballsy with your uniform and big freeking gun, but still, you probably remember when someone told you, "Hey, don't cuff anyone for another week until you pass that final "Cuffing & You" exam, alright?" So anyway, you see a car, a fancy one at that, double parked. Maybe you just want to keep traffic moving, maybe you're just intrigued by the thought that it could be someone important. You go up to the driver and start asking him questions like "Hey, what are you doing here? Do you know you can't just stop wherever you want?" To which he replies, "Yeah man, I'm sorry about that, I'd move in a second if my boss wouldn't fire me for it. He'll be out of the resteraunt in a sec, I promise. He's just picking up dinner." So you wait for a minute and out of the resteraunt comes Mike Wallace, really famous newsman and really really old guy. Between now and a couple minutes from now, what kind of exchange would it take to end up with and 86 year old world famous reporter in your cuffs? Mike Wallace probably said something about their mothers, but that's just a guess.