July 08, 2004

Another Noonan Nooner

Much like Salacious Crumb to her Jabba, Peggy Noonan points and laughs at Kerry and his Jedi mind tricks which don't work if you're targeting a giant mindless slug. Much like her appraisal of Kerry's Edwards announcement, Noonan doesn't say anything worth going into much until the end of her piece, spending the first talking about how the Kerrys/Edwards' look like the Kennedys, how John Kerry doesn't wave like he should, and how she's not impressed with Teresa Heinz Kerry, which I'm sure keeps up Mrs. Kerry at night. The the Pegster goes to her usual bat shit insane routine.

Does anyone care if John Kerry points to people in the crowd? Noonan does, take a gander:

By the way, Republicans tend not to point at the crowd in this way. They wave. I think it's because their mothers taught them pointing is rude. Someday, in 2008 or 2012, there will, however, be a Republican pointer. And we will know history has truly changed. Because that man's mother will not have taught him that pointing is rude, for she was working 18 hours a day in a law firm, and forgot.

Then, when Kerry mentions that George Bush lied in the lead up to Iraq War 2.0 the Noonster does what any good Republican lap dog does and says he's in Michael Moore territory, which might not be such a bad thing now since no one has, to my knowledge, debunked Fahrenheit 9/11 in any substantial way.

But the best/insaniest part of this column is when she tries to argue that because Kerry didn't spend years in 'Nam that it's not an issue at all despite the fact that no one on the other side went at all and yet are claiming to be "War President" and such. I really hope someone scratches Peggy's belly just like she likes this week 'cause she earned it.

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