July 19, 2004
He Says He's Compassionate, So He Must Be
Evidently Rod Paige has never seen a badass trailer that ended up being a suck-tastic movie because he bases his entire column on presumption that every press release Bush has ever put out represents the absolute truth. Hey Rod, in the last four years I've cured cancer and AIDS, brought an end to poverty, AND brought peace to the Middle East. Now you can write a column on me and how great I am and denouncing my detractors. I'm so glad you don't need me to provide you with any factual evidence because, um, my copy machine is broken, so you see, I can't. You trust me though, right?